I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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