Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
