Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
