If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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