I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
