ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
