this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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