My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
