absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
