My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Randomize
