we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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