please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
