Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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