I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
