Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
