Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
