Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
