...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
