Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize
