I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
