Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
