You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
