I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
