Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
