i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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