I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
We had sex on a dog bed..
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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