shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
