how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
