New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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