I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
