I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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