how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
