Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
