Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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