I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Randomize
