I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
