I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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