the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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