You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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