Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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