so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
