I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
