the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Even the bartender felt bad for me
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
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