He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
