That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
no you cant smoke seaweed
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
