Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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