I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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