i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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