we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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