Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
