You're so nebulous sometimes
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
The dick lei will go down in squad history
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
