we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
