saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I booty called her while she was in labor.
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I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
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Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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