with your own penis?
I wish I could punch you in the face.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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