how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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