I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
