My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
