kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Randomize
