Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
