I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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