dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
