nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
