I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
