I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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