You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
