I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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