He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
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we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
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I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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