i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
