I just saw a hot homeless man
your room smells of hookers.
And success
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
