I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
