I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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