Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
