She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
